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    Neo Stigma
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    Lineage : Blood Brothers Pact
    Position : Super Saiyan
    Origin : Wonderland
    Posts : 926
    Sacred Shards : 18
    Class : C
    Level : 33
    Experience : 2545

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Neo Stigma
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Primary Magic: Unknown

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    Post by Neo Stigma on Fri Dec 04, 2015 6:12 pm

    Magic

    Primary Magic: Death Rider
    Secondary Magic: None at the moment
    Caster or Holder: Caster

    Description:

    This is a dark magic used by a long forgotten clan of exorcists called the Death Riders. This magic allows the user to take control of a legion of spirits both hostile and peaceful. The user is able to do this by using their body as gateway and a medium for the spirits so that the user can fully utilize the super natural abilities that each spirit possesses. As a result the users body is in the boarder line of the living and the dead. The users body is constantly stuck in limbo between the realm of the living and the realm of the dead, the user is able to turn into a ghost allowing the user to phase through objects and even vanish from sight. When using this magic, even one spell or ability, the users flesh is consumed by a ghostly flame leaving only the users skeleton as it is engulfed by the ghostly flames. This magic does however puts the user in danger. The user of this magic runs the risk of being overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of of spirits the user is trying to control, as a result the user may end up being possessed. Worst case scenario the legion of spirits can cause the users body to permanently cross over to the realm of the dead, meaning that the user may die... (note the death rider form, is the picture above. It's simply a form the user goes into when ever the user is using their magic. Yes, it's a state of being......all comments aside It's primarily for aesthetic purposes.)

    Strengths:

    - The user is able to use many spirits at his or her disposal, allowing him or her to channel a vast amount of supernatural abilities. One ability is that while the user is in his or her Death Rider form they can call upon a ghostly steed to aid them in battle. (Summoning a Death Riders steed is an ability that a higher level of Death Riders obtain. At Rank D the user does not have this ability, they gain it at rank C)

    - The user is able to command spirits to posses inanimate objects so that they can move to his or her bidding.

    - When the user is in his or her Death Rider Form they can temporarily turn into a ghost this allows them to phase through objects and even disappear.

    - While the user goes in his or her Death Rider form they are able to see the sins, regrets, and the fears a person has.

    - The ghostly flames of a Death Rider cannot be eaten by slayers, this is because the flames are of the spirit world, they do not exist in the realm of the living, however they can be seen due to the user using his or her body as a gateway and a medium to the legion of spirits. These ghostly flames are actually bellow subzero temperatures, they are so cold that anything they touch it is as if it burns...

    Weaknesses:

    - This magic causes extreme mental strain, often times it causes the user to have a multiple personality disorder.

    - The user must often meditate to commune the spirits, this is to sedate the inner turmoil between his soul and the legion of spirits that are trying to take over his or her body.

    - The user is always under the threat of being possessed and losing control of his body. When the user is possessed they will no longer see the difference between enemy and ally and thus the user will go on a rampage and try to destroying anything in his or her path.

    - The user runs the risk of crossing to far into the realm of the dead, this ultimately can cause the user to die.

    Due to the constant whispering of the legion of spirits, those who are Death Riders often have a hard time making human connections and showing their true feelings. This often causes them to be secluded and alone.

    - Although the user does not lose any health when they go into their Death Rider form, every time the transform into their Death Rider form they feel an extreme amount of pain. They feel their flesh being burned as they turn into a Death Rider.

    - When under the extreme emotional pressure, the user has a higher chance of losing control and being possessed.

    - Many times people mistake the user as a demon due to their demonic appearance when they are in their Death Rider form.

    Lineage:

    Other Half
    Description: A very long time has passed since the initial curse that caused this "condition". One of your ancestors was in the middle of a war and was desperate enough to trade off his sanity for immense power. They were able to win the war and spare their village, but were quickly executed after it was all over. The village elder had hoped that they were the last of his "kind" while burning the body, but what they didn't know was that they had given birth to a child already. This condition wasn't initially spotted, so it was kept under wraps from everyone else. When the child was old enough, the remaining parent sent them off to avoid persecution from the village's residents.
    Ability: The user is able to drown out any sense of pain and goes into a state of all out attack. Though, they still take damage, they don't feel it. This also clouds the ability to distinguish friend from foe.
    They temporarily gain 100% HP more when used, but their true HP is damaged first. If damage would kill them normally, they continue to use the temporary HP for the duration. They don't need to breathe and seem to ignore massive damage to vital organs including brain, lungs, and heart.
    The all-out attacking frenzy increases damage they do by 50%.
    Once the spell ends if they took damage exceeding their normal HP, they die then rather than earlier when the damage was taken.
    This effect automatically triggers if reduced to 0% HP, or can be activated intentionally. They can be healed while in this effect and if healed above 0% HP they won't die.
    Usage: 6 posts. 10 post cooldown. The extra HP does not regenerate after use and if used again starts where it was before.

    Unique Abilities:

    Death Tokens: Every time a spell is activated (this includes both the opponent, pets, and the users spells) the user gains one Death Token. A Death Token is created by the left over magic power after a spell is used, it looks like a golden coin with a skull engraved on both sides. The user can only see how many Death Tokens he or she has. Death Tokens are used for various purposes, sacrificing a certain amount of Death Tokens allows the user to activate buffs, heals, paying costs and various other requirements for abilities and spells.(The amount of Death Tokens that need to be sacrificed varies with each spell and ability.)

    Death Riders Sight: The user is able to see spirits around them, they are also able to target one person per post and see the sins that they have committed, their regrets, and most of all their greatest fears. If the target is a higher rank then the user must pay a certain amount of Death Tokens to see the targets, sins, regrets, and fears. (Refer to the chart bellow, not this ability can be used against npcs without paying a cost)

    DEATH RIDERS SIGHTS COST:


    The target is equal or lower the users class = There is no cost

    The target is one class higher than the user = 2 Death Tokens

    The target is two classes higher than the user = 4 Death Tokens

    The target is three classes higher than the user = 6 Death Tokens

    The target is four classes higher than the user = 8 Death Tokens

    The Target is five classes higher than the user = 10 Death Tokens

    Death Riders Command: While The user is in his or her Death Rider form, they are able to look into the eyes of an npc and command a spirit to posses the body. When an npc is possessed the user has full command of the possessed npc. The Npc's body is then engulfed by the same ghostly flames leaving nothing but a fiery skeleton like appearance. The Npc is controlled for three posts and they are able to use their spell how ever all their spells are also engulfed by the same ghostly flames. This ability has NO EFFECT on pets or companions. This ability cannot posses Boss ranked npc's. This ability CAN ONLY be activated if the user has one or more death tokens. The user MUST pay the Death Token cost in order to posses a targeted npc. The user can on possess UP TOO three npcs. The npcs are possessed for three posts and at the end of the three posts the npc will die. The user can only take control of npcs if the user is doing a mission equal or lower than the users rank, this ability HAS NO EFFECT on npcs if the job is of a higher rank. This ability can also effect regular non npcs that are found in social threads or jobs that don't use the monster dice. (Refer to the chart bellow to see how many death tokens it takes to posses a certain npc. The npc's are the monsters spawned by the monster dice during missions.)

    DEATH RIDERS COMMAND COST:

    Weak NPC = 1 Death Token
    Normal NPC = 2 Death Tokens
    Strong NPC = 3 Death Tokens

    Name: Death Strider
    Rank: D
    Type: Defensive
    Duration: Instant to 1 whole post
    Cooldown: Two posts
    Description: The user is able to momentarily able to turn into a ghost. The user then enters the spirit realm and vanishes leaving only a puff of ash and small flames. The user can phase through solid and liquid objects. While this spell is active the user cannot be seen.
    Strengths:

    - They do not take any damage when the user uses this spell

    - The user can phase through solid, and liquid objects

    - The user cannot be seen by his or her opponents

    Weaknesses:

    - The user cannot deal any damage what so ever while this spell is active.

    - The user's allies cannot see the user while this spell is active.

    - If the user travels more than 5 meters while this spell is active, the spell automatically ends. If the user stays still then the spell can last the whole post it is activated. The user may sacrifice 1 Death Token the user may increase the spells distance by 1 meter or increase the spells duration by one additional post.

    - If the users opponent is faster than the user, they can still hit the user before the user activates this spell.

    - If the users opponent is a higher rank they can sense the users magical power, though they cannot see the user they can still sense the general direction of the user.

    Name: Spirit Barrier
    Rank: D
    Type: Defensive
    Duration: Instant to one whole post
    Cooldown: 2 posts
    Description: The user simply snaps his or her fingers and a horde of malefic spirits will swirl around creating spherical barrier about 5 meters in width all around from top to bottom and side to side. The spirits swirl around so fast that the particles around them grind together creating a grinding like motion. The barrier is able to damage opponents and send attacks back flying back. (The barrier can deflect a max of 2 D Rank attacks, or 1 C Rank)
    Strengths:

    - The barrier can deflect any D rank spells and any status afflictions they my have.

    - The user can sacrifice 2 Death Tokens to strengthen the barrier so that it can also deflect spells one rank higher.

    - The barrier deals D rank damage if it is touched. (The user is not effected by this damage)

    - The barrier can be summoned around the user or within 3 meters of the user

    Weaknesses:

    - Spells of a higher rank can easily get through the barrier.

    - The barrier vanishes if the user moves

    - If an ally touches the barrier they too will also be damaged.

    - In an ally is with in the barrier they will take damage instead of being protected.

    - The spirits constantly yell out blood curdling screams while the barrier is activated. This makes the spell very risky to be used during a stealth mission because the user can attract unwanted attention to him or herself.

    Name: Death Riders Touch
    Rank: D
    Type: Defensive
    Duration: 3 posts
    Cooldown: 4 posts
    Description: The user then commands a hostile spirit to posses an object, or weapon. The object is then engulfed by the same Ghostly Flame when the user is in his or Death Rider form. The possessed object is able to deal and guard against D damage. The user can also command the spirit to move the object or weapon around as he or she pleases just as long as the object is with 5 meters of the user.

    Strengths:

    - The chosen item or weapon will be able to deal D rank spell damage. The chosen item or weapon will be able to guard against D rank spells.

    - The chosen item and weapon can be moved around and controlled by the user as he or she pleases just as long as the item or weapon is within 5 meters.

    - The user can sacrifice 1 death token to command the spirits to possess another item or weapon.

    Weaknesses:

    - Any spells higher then D rank can easily break the chosen weapons.

    - The user MUST touch the targeted object in order to activate this ability.

    - Allies cannot wield the chosen weapons, if they touch the weapons they will be dealt D rank Damage.

    - The Death Token ability of this spell can only be activated at the same turn this spell is activated. The user may only command up to three items or weapons.

    - The item or weapon will still have all of its weaknesses. (note if the user uses this spell on a weapon, that weapons durability will stay the same. If the user uses this spell on a rock or a random object found in the thread, it'll have the durability of a weak weapon.)

    Name: Death Riders Fist
    Rank: D
    Type: Offensive
    Duration: 1 post
    Cooldown: 2 posts
    Description: The user calls upon a horde of hostile spirits to engulf his or her fists in a ghostly. When the users fists makes contact the flames will burst out causing a explosion the size of a volley ball. The flames and explosions will disturb the balance between a persons soul and body, thus causing minor damage to a persons body and soul. This spell deals D rank spell damage.

    Strengths:

    - The explosion caused by this spell will send back an opponent flying 3 meters away.

    - The user may sacrifice 2 Death Tokens to deal an additional D Rank damage.

    - This spell can shatter any D rank Barriers or Defensive spells so that any damage of this spell will go through. Any D rank defensive spells shattered by this spell is rendered useless and is immediately put into cool down.

    Weaknesses:

    - After a single punch the ghostly fire will go away and the users fists will return to normal. Meaning if the user misses the spell was basically wasted.

    - This spell is close range so the user must be close his or her in order for this spell to hit.

    - This spell has no defensive capabilities, it cannot block or deflect any attacks.

    - After using this spell the user is momentarily open to an attack, if the user does not use a spell or to defend or evade the user will undoubtedly take damage of the next attack of the opponent.

    - This spell can only Destroy D rank Defensive spells, this spell completely nullified by any defensive spells of a higher rank.


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    gonna learn today! 0009910
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    Neo Stigma
    Neo Stigma
    Magikarp VIP

    Gravestone How It's Made Shadowstep gonna learn today! Empty
    Someone really... really poor.

    Lineage : Blood Brothers Pact
    Position : Super Saiyan
    Origin : Wonderland
    Posts : 926
    Sacred Shards : 18
    Class : C
    Level : 33
    Experience : 2545

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Neo Stigma
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Primary Magic: Unknown

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    Post by Neo Stigma on Fri Dec 04, 2015 6:15 pm

    First things first, I want you to tell me what you find unique in this magic. What stands out to you? What do you think is a threat when facing off against this magic. Tell me why is this magic different from the rest. Explain your thoughts read in between the lines. Find the core of this magic. Tell me what spell or ability which makes up the core and the most important part of this magic.


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    Anonymous
    Guest

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    Post by Guest on Sat Dec 05, 2015 5:37 pm

    1. What I noticed was that every time a spell is activated, the user gets a token. This is unique in the fact that the user gains a hidden extra effect every time they use their spells. They then can use those tokens to beef up the capabilities of their spells, and possible other abilities they may have.

    2. After taking a more extensive look at the magic, I determined that the biggest threat when fighting a user of this magic is the Death Tokens ability. A user gains one every time they activate a spell, and they can use these tokens to activate various effects, which include buffing the spells' capabilities. Because of this, not only can the user reach the requirements of the spells' token abilities, but can deal consistently heavy damage along with buffed up spells. In order to combat this, a user would need to find a way to prevent the user of Death Rider from activating said spells: That way they can stop the influx of Death Tokens.

    Also, another threat that presents itself is the fact that Death Tokens can also be gained by a pet or opponent's spells. That means that even if they stop the user of Death Rider from gaining tokens, they're still screwing themselves just as much, because they're now trying to use spells to beat down the user, which in turn gains them Death Tokens. In more simpler terms, the opponent of a Death Rider would have to find a way to completely stop spell usage on the battlefield, whether it be the Rider, themselves or a pet.

    3. What makes this magic different from most others is that it can deal varying damage, depending on what the user decides to do with his tokens. He/she may decide that he needs a constant attack boost and use their tokens often, or decide that they will surprise the opponent with a sudden blitzkrieg.

    4. I wouldn't say that there is a core to this magic, as much as I would say that there is an extra building block to this magic, in the form of the Death Rider ability. Looking at this magic, I noticed that it doesn't revolve around one specific ability or spell, but has an ability that can be used to add an extra piece to the spells and other abilities. For example, a magic that requires the sun to be out in order to be used would be a magic that has a core part to it. I didn't see that with this magic. I saw something with spells that work on their own, in the sense that they don't become completely and utterly useless should one easy-to-notice part goes away.
    Neo Stigma
    Neo Stigma
    Magikarp VIP

    Gravestone How It's Made Shadowstep gonna learn today! Empty
    Someone really... really poor.

    Lineage : Blood Brothers Pact
    Position : Super Saiyan
    Origin : Wonderland
    Posts : 926
    Sacred Shards : 18
    Class : C
    Level : 33
    Experience : 2545

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Neo Stigma
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Primary Magic: Unknown

    gonna learn today! Empty Re: gonna learn today!

    Post by Neo Stigma on Sun Dec 06, 2015 6:59 pm

    Good the death tokens are what I call alternate resources, a consistent source of ammunition and supplies one can obtain besides using MP. Having an alternate resource will come in handy when you're down MP and HP. It'll come in handy when it's crunch time.

    Other wise your analysis is spot on. Keep in mind not all magic types can have alternate resources, the most difficult thing about this magic is keeping track of all it's abilities, and micro managing your spells and resources. Another flaw about this magic is, you missed one thing though... IT DOES NOT GAIN ANY DEATH TOKENS WHEN USING WEAPON ABILITIES. This means when faced against someone who is an expert with weapons combat, like kaseki, the influx of resources will dramatically decrease. If the user wanted to gain more death tokens they would have to keep pumping out spells ultimately running out of spells to use or running low on mp. Another major weakness that you seem to have not noticed, is this magic is primarily a long term magic. Meaning the longer the battle drags out the higher the chance the user has in winning. To defeat this kind of magic one would need to hit hard and fast, Blitzkrieg an onslaught of attacks. Keep the pressure on the opponent, don't let them have the chance to use the death tokens.

    Keep in mind when making a magic that revolves around alternate resources, you need to have specific conditions. How do you acquire your resources what's the trigger? Now try making an ability or a magic that has an alternate resource. Be sure to explain its conditions and it's abilities. I want you have three ability slots and four spell slots....I want the reply in two days. Make it quick and fast. When your done post it here for grading.



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    Anonymous
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    Post by Guest on Mon Dec 07, 2015 5:00 pm

    Name: Sky Demon Slayer
    Type: Wind, Spirit, Life
    Usage: Conjuration
    Description: This Devil Slayer magic...it's a fickle one to say the least. It's a Wind Magic, but has a white tint, making white wind. Most of the time, Sky Slayers are associated with healing, but Ryuhei has a way of using this in combat. It's very versatile in the sense that there's two ways in using it: Combat and Healing. Ryuhei uses it in a combat fashion, but has abilities that might be associated with healing.

    Abilities:
    Sky Drive - Gains 7% MP when user is breathing, once per post. The user can sacrifice up to two White Feather Tokens to double this.

    Healing Factor - When HP is under 100%, user gains 7% every five posts. The user can sacrifice one White Feather Token to double this once.

    White Feather Token - Every time a spell with the wind element is used, the user gets one White Feather Token. These are in the form of literal white feathers, which get into the user's hair. The feathers are only visible to those with the Wind element as a primary. The White Feathers can be sacrificed to activate various abilities, including increasing the power or duration of abilities and spells. The amount needed varies with each spell/ability, it will say so within the spell/ability itself.



    Name: Cloak of Air
    Rank: D
    Description: The user generates an aura of wind which envelops their body, and protects against damage.
    Strengths:
    -Instant
    -Protects against two D-Ranked strikes
    -The user can sacrifice one White Feather token to increase this spell's duration by one post
    Weaknesses:
    -Essentially turns the user into a walking air conditioner because of the speed of the air.
    -Cannot be used to reinforce items.
    -Does not provide any buffs.
    -The wind makes noise.
    Duration: Two posts
    Cooldown: Three posts

    Name: Aerification Technique
    Rank: D
    Description: A whole-body technique where the user can turn his body into wind at will.
    Strengths:
    -Weak weapons will go right through him.
    -Instant cast time
    -Anything he is wearing turns into air
    -The user can sacrifice up to two White Feather tokens to increase the duration by up to two posts.
    Weaknesses:
    -He cannot hold weapons
    -He is still visible
    -Spells will hit him
    -Strong weapons and above will hit him
    -He cannot attack while in this form
    Duration: One post
    Cooldown: Four posts

    Name: Sky Demon Rage I
    Rank: D
    Description: The user inhales, and exhales a concentrated stream of their element.

    Strengths:
    -Range of 10m
    -The Rage has a speed of 5m per second
    -The user can sacrifice one White Feather Token to double the speed of this spell.
    Weaknesses:
    -Only goes straight
    -Can be destroyed or canceled out by a higher-ranked spell
    -Cannot be stopped by user
    Duration: Instant
    Cooldown: Three posts

    Name: Morning Star
    Rank: D
    Description: The user can cover an increased distance in fewer steps at a slightly enhanced dashing speed.
    Strengths:
    -The user can close distance easily
    -It takes no time to cast
    -The user can sacrifice three White Feather Tokens to decrease the cooldown to three posts between uses.
    Weaknesses:
    -Max speed of 5 m/s
    -Can only travel in a straight line
    -Max distance of ten meters
    -The user can still be seen, albeit barely.
    Duration: Instant
    Cooldown: Can only be used four times per thread, with a cooldown of five posts inbetween

    Neo Stigma
    Neo Stigma
    Magikarp VIP

    Gravestone How It's Made Shadowstep gonna learn today! Empty
    Someone really... really poor.

    Lineage : Blood Brothers Pact
    Position : Super Saiyan
    Origin : Wonderland
    Posts : 926
    Sacred Shards : 18
    Class : C
    Level : 33
    Experience : 2545

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Neo Stigma
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Primary Magic: Unknown

    gonna learn today! Empty Re: gonna learn today!

    Post by Neo Stigma on Tue Dec 08, 2015 1:30 pm

    you're getting the idea, however the effects are predictable with the white feather being only visible to wind attribute opponents, that was a very nice touch. The way you acquire the feathers is pretty simple and predictable. Unfortunately if kaseki saw that here he would should the idea asap. So as a back up i would suggest another condition just in case this one fails, for example for every wind attribute spell that is used you get a feather. It's limited to one element, though it's not as fast to get the alt resource, it'll have a higher chance in getting approved. another thing I noticed you have long cool downs. Try making them shorter, cuz there's no harm in trying.

    The main rule in magic making is finding the loop holes, making obvious and subtle weaknesses. Be cheap and shady, you think you got an op spell great. Word in a way that the person grading it will not see it as a threat, but don't compromise the integrity of the spell. Your magic has to give and take, has to be balanced, self aware. Find your focus because in the end of the day your magic can't have everything. For example I specialize in offensive and utility based magic, while kaseki focuses in stalling and support. For example my magic, death rider, is high utility making it flexible and reliable.

    You gotta find the anchor of your magic, the building block and corner stone. With out an anchor your magic is gonna go haywire and fail due to it's inconsistent performance. Make sure your current spells will work together with your future spells, that way not a single resource is wasted during a fight. You need to learn how to micro manage everything to the last MP and HP. Have go to plan with your magic, but don't rely on it too much. find a way to use a spell in an abstract manner in order to throw off your opponents.

    Your third assignment is, I want you to think of as many combos you can do with the spell. Explain how they would work together and figure out what would be needed to break the combo.


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