Unknown Lands

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The Unknown Lands of Pandora is regarded as a "Multiverse" forum or a "Free Forum" meaning that we are not based on a single series, but rather multiple with our own custom systems. Each "Kingdom" of Pandora is another anime/cartoon series with other various sub series that make up the entire land.

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Unknown Lands

Welcome to the world of Unknown Lands Roleplay Forum!

If you have questions you can create an account and post on our questions section or join our Discord! (https://discord.gg/jupj2Zh) If you have any questions on lore and our systems, please don't hesitate to ask us.

The Unknown Lands of Pandora is regarded as a "Multiverse" forum or a "Free Forum" meaning that we are not based on a single series, but rather multiple with our own custom systems. Each "Kingdom" of Pandora is another anime/cartoon series with other various sub series that make up the entire land.

We can't wait to meet you!

Unknown Lands

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Welcome Guest! Your last visit was . You have made 118 posts! Please welcome our newest member, DrDoctor!


    trash1

    Fetus
    Fetus
    Shinigami VIP

    I'm Important Too! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Martyr's Soul
    Position : None
    Origin : Pandora
    Posts : 989
    Sacred Shards : 16
    Class : C
    Level : 23
    Experience : 10870

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Fetus
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Primary Magic: Dog

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Fetus Sat Apr 23, 2016 2:19 pm

    @Noire grade this as you would any other app.

    @Toriel


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Noire
    Noire

    Gravestone I Need A Medic! I'm Important Too! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Gunslinger's Quickdraw
    Position : None
    Origin : Toonville
    Posts : 230
    Sacred Shards : 0
    Class : D
    Level : 1
    Experience : 130

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Noire Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:26 am

    @Fetus wrote:Name: Ravage
    Nickname: Bones
    Gender: Skeleton
    Race: Male
    Age: Dead
    Birthday: 4,4th
    Sexuality: ???
    Unique Characteristics: Skeleton
    Personality: A drunken sailor who strives for riches. He got his taste of wealth from his father, Indiana Bones. He prefers to sail the seas in search of lost treasure with ship battles rather than trap infested temples. ravage Bones is a corrupt being that only lives for the sake of money. He appears as a coldhearted deadman, when in actuality he is a loving and caring individual with a passion for food. He doesn't like getting attached to people, but to those that are close, he will always care for them.

    Likes: (
    - Rum
    - Money
    - Ships

    Dislikes: - Running out of Rum
    - Having no money


    Motivations: (Please list 3 Minimum)
    - Getting money to start up his own crew
    - Buying rum
    - Life

    Fears/Disgusts: (Please list 3 Minimum)
    - Not finding his family
    - Actually dying

    Eyes: (no
    Hair: (none
    Height: 5'9
    Weight: 2,000
    Complexion: bone


    all these in red need changing. you can't have dead as age. you need the date and month to be, for example, 4th of April. personality needs to be at least three hundred words. you need at least 3 examples in likes, dislikes, motivations and fears/disgusts, while having a description for why and get rid of the please list 3 minimum. you need to have a proper description for your eyes, hair and complexion. you need to put weight in pounds or kilos and height in feet and inches.


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    trash1 2e5v8dt
    Toriel
    Toriel
    Magikarp VIP

    Gravestone How It's Made I Need A Medic! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Bloodmage's Burden
    Position : None
    Origin : De Fiore
    Posts : 799
    Sacred Shards : 23
    Class : C
    Level : 13
    Experience : 2555

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Toriel Dremurr
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Primary Magic: ReQuip: Dremurr Armory

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Toriel Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:30 am

    You highlighted the errors, but what is wrong with them? This does not tell what needs to be corrected.


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Toriel Dreemurr | Frisk Swirly 
    trash1 2a4q0bb
    trash1 4jvsjp
    Theme Song (Road Taken | Calm)
    Battle Song (Road Taken | Roar)
    Noire
    Noire

    Gravestone I Need A Medic! I'm Important Too! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Gunslinger's Quickdraw
    Position : None
    Origin : Toonville
    Posts : 230
    Sacred Shards : 0
    Class : D
    Level : 1
    Experience : 130

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Noire Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:38 am

    @Fetus wrote:Name: Ravage
    Nickname: Bones
    Gender: Skeleton
    Race: Male
    Age: Dead
    Birthday: 4,4th
    Sexuality: ???
    Unique Characteristics: Skeleton
    Personality: A drunken sailor who strives for riches. He got his taste of wealth from his father, Indiana Bones. He prefers to sail the seas in search of lost treasure with ship battles rather than trap infested temples. ravage Bones is a corrupt being that only lives for the sake of money. He appears as a coldhearted deadman, when in actuality he is a loving and caring individual with a passion for food. He doesn't like getting attached to people, but to those that are close, he will always care for them.

    Likes: (
    - Rum
    - Money
    - Ships

    Dislikes: - Running out of Rum
    - Having no money


    Motivations: (Please list 3 Minimum)
    - Getting money to start up his own crew
    - Buying rum
    - Life

    Fears/Disgusts: (Please list 3 Minimum)
    - Not finding his family
    - Actually dying

    Eyes: (no
    Hair: (none
    Height: 5'9
    Weight: 2,000
    Complexion: bone

    please change your age from dead to a proper age, as dead is a definition of your state in life/death. please lengthen your personality to 300 words, and please don't repeat any sentences used twice or put anything that maybe seen as god modding, meaning giving you an advantage in any combat scenario. please add descriptions for your likes, dislikes, fears and motivations. add one more like and two more dislikes. please remove any brackets and please list 3 minimum. put height in feet and inches and weight in pounds. gender can't be skeleton, so please make it either male or female. change complexion from bone to either white or pale. race can't be male, so change that to human, angel, devil, Ext. please put a true sexuality, like gay, bisexual, straight, Ext. look over your sentences and capitalized the start of each sentence and please correct any words that have been misspelled. please use the correct code in your application. bump when these errors have been corrected.


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    trash1 2e5v8dt
    Toriel
    Toriel
    Magikarp VIP

    Gravestone How It's Made I Need A Medic! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Bloodmage's Burden
    Position : None
    Origin : De Fiore
    Posts : 799
    Sacred Shards : 23
    Class : C
    Level : 13
    Experience : 2555

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Toriel Dremurr
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Primary Magic: ReQuip: Dremurr Armory

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Toriel Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:47 am

    BUMP

    Could you organize what needs to be graded better? Perhaps in a list or bullets?


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Toriel Dreemurr | Frisk Swirly 
    trash1 2a4q0bb
    trash1 4jvsjp
    Theme Song (Road Taken | Calm)
    Battle Song (Road Taken | Roar)
    Noire
    Noire

    Gravestone I Need A Medic! I'm Important Too! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Gunslinger's Quickdraw
    Position : None
    Origin : Toonville
    Posts : 230
    Sacred Shards : 0
    Class : D
    Level : 1
    Experience : 130

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Noire Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:56 am

    @Fetus wrote:Name: Ravage
    Nickname: Bones
    Gender: Skeleton
    Race: Male
    Age: 9000
    Birthday: 4,4th
    Sexuality: ???
    Unique Characteristics: Skeleton
    Personality: A drunken sailor who strives for riches. He got his taste of wealth from his father, Indiana Bones. He prefers to sail the seas in search of lost treasure with ship battles rather than trap infested temples. ravage Bones is a corrupt being that only lives for the sake of money. He appears as a coldhearted deadman, when in actuality he is a loving and caring individual with a passion for food. He doesn't like getting attached to people, but to those that are close, he will always care for them.

    Ravage has a habit of collecting all of his cash and rewards and simply spending every last cent on alcohol. He hates to find things of no worth, the same with people. He is friendly at the start, but only to assess someone's value. These are things he does to all new people, simply out of worth. He hates people who contribute nothing. Late at night, or when he is alone he can be found drinking or counting his money. These are two hobbies of his. He figures, with enough Rum he can rule the world, and with enough money he can buy the tools necessary to end wars.

    Likes: (
    - Rum
    - Money
    - Ships

    Dislikes: - Running out of Rum
    - Having no money
    - Ships



    Motivations: (Please list 3 Minimum)
    - Getting money to start up his own crew
    - Buying rum
    - Life

    Fears/Disgusts: (Please list 3 Minimum)
    - Not finding his family
    - Actually dying

    Eyes: (no
    Hair: (none
    Height: 5'9
    Weight: 2,000
    Complexion: bone


    • personality needs more words to be fully complete, and don't add anything that maybe considered as a way to make your character seem unbeatable in combat.
    • special characteristic can not be what your character is.
    • race can't be male. you need to be something like human, angel, demon, ext.
    • gender can't be skeleton. it can only be male or female.
    • likes, dislikes, fears and motivations are not finished. dislikes needs two more dislikes, fears needs one more and all of them need reasons for them, as to link them to your character.
    • eyes needs to have a color and not be nothing.
    • hair needs a proper description and not none. bold is a better description
    • height needs to be put in feet and inches.
    • weight needs to be put in pounds. 2000 what? potatoes, apples, eyes?


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    trash1 2e5v8dt
    Noire
    Noire

    Gravestone I Need A Medic! I'm Important Too! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Gunslinger's Quickdraw
    Position : None
    Origin : Toonville
    Posts : 230
    Sacred Shards : 0
    Class : D
    Level : 1
    Experience : 130

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Noire Mon Apr 25, 2016 3:05 am

    bump


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    trash1 2e5v8dt
    Toriel
    Toriel
    Magikarp VIP

    Gravestone How It's Made I Need A Medic! trash1 Empty

    Lineage : Bloodmage's Burden
    Position : None
    Origin : De Fiore
    Posts : 799
    Sacred Shards : 23
    Class : C
    Level : 13
    Experience : 2555

    Character Sheet
    Character Name: Toriel Dremurr
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Primary Magic: ReQuip: Dremurr Armory

    trash1 Empty trash1

    Post by Toriel Mon Apr 25, 2016 3:13 am

    BUMP


    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Toriel Dreemurr | Frisk Swirly 
    trash1 2a4q0bb
    trash1 4jvsjp
    Theme Song (Road Taken | Calm)
    Battle Song (Road Taken | Roar)

    Sponsored content

    trash1 Empty Re: trash1

    Post by Sponsored content


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